FAQ Page

What Is This All About?

Fifty years ago, Amerikans worried about the Communists taking over and all that would mean: Big Brother watching every move, fifty per cent of a worker's income going to taxes and the national government being run by a tiny clique of criminals. Now that those changes are in place, we've decided to establish squatter's rights on the t-shirt concession for the next wave of changes.

Wearing a t-shirt purchased from us is almost certain to make your parents angry

To make these changes there will need to be an entirely new constitution, won't there?

You worry too much. No, not necessarily. There will no doubt need to be a few revisions to accommodate the streamlining we anticipate. It might help to think of it as "updating" the law. Especially the first ten amendments. They could probably all be summarized into two or three.

I'm concerned about these changes. What can I do to stop them?

Buy a t-shirt to express yourself.

How about the takeover of radio and TV? Is it true that the DSL cable will contain an incendiary device and that if I'm watching something inappropriate, I would be trapped, my home would burn, and my death would be blamed on "careless smoking?"

The punchcard system will allow easy usage of all television and radio, and while monitored by computer to prevent access to ineligible audience members, no further controls are planned. As with the other changes in the system, have fun with the differences you notice, like the revamped NPR and public television. Also, there will be no television from noon to four.

How do I apply for membership in the intelligentsia?

E-Mail kommissar@peoplesrepublikofamerika.com

I'm afraid that if I don't fall in line with these changes there may be retribution. What should I do?

Buy a T-shirt to express yourself.

As a hunter and sportsman, I'm a member of the National Rifle Association. Will that still be legal?

We are not working for the violent overthrow of the government.

There's a class-action suit in the federal court system seeking reparations for slavery. Will it still be legal to sue the national government?

Rather than beating the dead horse that is affirmative action, these suits will be settled by modifying the tax system to include a multiplier that will level the playing field. After you calculate your taxes you will use the multiplier to figure your tax, 1.035 for Euro-Amerikans, .98 for Afro-Amerikans and .85 for the release of Leonard Peltier for Native Amerikans.

What if I haven't put in enough hours to get my minimum work credit for the quarter?

You will be assigned to Civilian Conservation Corps work camp in either Warroad, Minneattle or Nogales, Montaña.

What about English as a second language?

As long as you're registered, there are no penalties for using a language other than English. Don't forget to keep the card current by paying the minimal fee.

I'm excited about these new revisions. What can I do to jump on the bandwagon?

Buy a t-shirt to express yourself.

We'd like to order shirts in sizes or colors not listed is that possible?

Contact politburo@peoplesrepublikofamerika.com

I just got a summary from social security of what benefits I can expect at age 65. Are those figures subject to change?

Maybe.

Any other questions can be sent to politburo@peoplesrepublikofamerika.com.